Sexting School: Women reveal that sometimes there's nothing sexier than letting your fingers do the talking

Last year the term sexting was added to the dictionary, so why not heat up the springtime by introducing it to your smartphone? In an age when a Facebook poke can equal foreplay, a sext can get downright kinky. Yes, more than a few high-profile wieners (not to mention Weiners) have shown this hobby can be hazardous to your career, but don’t let that deter you—women want it! Done right, sexting makes your girl feel hot, horny, and uninhibited. So listen in on what real ladies want and then start manning the phone!


How to Initiate
The first dirty text is always the hardest part. So kick things off by being playful. Lisa,* 22, sets the tone with a little game she invented: “Does your tie match my underwear?” “The guy I was dating would send me a picture of his tie, and then I’d send him one of my lingerie. It started out with just a bra strap, but soon I was running into the work bathroom to take a picture of my panties. It was a good way to begin, because if you immediately send a photo of a penis, where do you go from there?”

Also make sure to utilize the power of memory. Start by referencing something you’ve already done—from the general (“I can’t stop thinking about last Friday”) to the specific (“You looked so sexy when you were riding me”).

“The only thing that turns me on more than actual sex is the memory of really great sex,” says Jane, 26. “So when my boyfriend and I are texting late at night and he starts recounting dirty memories, I get so aroused! He’ll start by telling me how hard he got while undressing me, then get to how hot my wet pussy felt sliding against him. I feel like we’re actually in bed together.” Just be sure to keep up the pace: No one wants to wait 20 minutes between sexts while you wrap up a game of Angry Birds.

Ease Up, Ron Jeremy
Don’t feel like you need to sound like a porn star. Most women say they want their guys to sound natural. “I know who you are, so just be yourself!” says Alex, 23. “I was dating this shy guy I hadn’t slept with yet, and then during one of our flirty exchanges he asked me what he could do to make me feel good. A simple question was even hot­ter than if he’d come out guns blazing, because I could totally picture him saying that.”

With this in mind, be sure to avoid weird acronyms (“IAYM” means “I am your master”—WTF?) and emoticons. “I was in the middle of a steamy back and forth with an investment banker, then all of a sudden he threw in one of those smiley faces with the tongue sticking out,” Julia, 29, shares. “It kind of weirded me out.” Think about it: Do you LOL and wink during sex?

Use the Force
By now you should know that women are into this thing called foreplay, so let your phone get things going before you even see her. “After a business trip I texted my boyfriend that I had landed and was going home to get some rest,” says Nicole, 28. “He replied that he was dying to go down on me, describing how he’d press his tongue against my clit and slide his finger in and out of me. I ended up going to his place, and we had the hottest quickie ever.”

A lot of girls love sexting because it builds anticipation for the actual event, whereas Skype and phone sex are more about immediate gratification. “I would usually meet my boyfriend for dinner after my seven o’clock class,” says Sophia, 21. “But one night my phone kept vibrating with texts about how horny he was and how the only thing he really wanted to do was fuck me in the backseat of his car. We skipped dinner that night.”

Getting Graphic
While guys may be the more visually excitable of the sexes, there’s good news: Girls are as turned on by taking pictures as guys are from receiving them.

“I get really aroused when my boyfriend asks me to take a pic of myself while I’m somewhere unexpected, like out shopping or at a restaurant,” says Karen, 21. “Sneaking into the rest room and taking naughty photos gives me such a rush.”

Katya, 24, loves snapping photographs for another reason: “It definitely makes me feel desired. My ex was an ass man, so I knew that pulling up my skirt and taking a back­wards shot in the mirror would get him going.”

That’s not to say there aren’t plenty of women who yearn for a full-on photo of what’s down below. “I love seeing how excited my boyfriend is when he thinks of me,” shares Tess, 25. “If we’re having a sexy exchange and he’s telling me how hard I’m making him, I want to see it, and I feel especially turned on that it’s all mine.” Still, there may come a day when you’re running for office and don’t want it traced back to you. Luckily, there’s an easy solution: Keep your face out of the photo. “One of the sexiest pics I have of my boyfriend is a self-snapped post-workout photo,” says Nicki, 20. “It’s just his sweaty chest captioned with ‘Hi, honey.’ It’s hot enough to turn me on but not totally humiliated if, like, my mom saw it.”

Still feel like sexting may be too risqué for you and your girl? It’s never too late to start, fellas. “I was with my boyfriend for two years before we started sexting,” shares Nina, 24. “One night when he was out with his friends, he wrote, ‘You are so sexy, why aren’t we in bed together?’ I don’t know if it was the booze talking, but we’ve been sexting ever since.”

There’s no shame in starting small. “When I was studying abroad, my guy wrote, ‘I wish I could see you right now,’ ” says Alanna, 25. “Just hearing that he missed me was enough to make me take my clothes off and send something steamy his way.” The number one advice from ladies? Don’t be shy! You’re already tech-savvy, so get tech-sexy; you’ll probably get what you’ve been hoping for.